Poker Face Life's A Gamble

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Poker Face Life's A Gamble Rating: 4,0/5 4042 votes

Riddle: What is the weakest hand in a game of Texas Hold’em, which you can have but still end on the river with a guarantee of victory? Answer: Three Queens. For example, if you hold a Queen of Hearts and a Queen of Diamonds, and the board is showing Queen of Diamonds, Jack of Diamonds, seven of Clubs, four of Clubs, and two of. 'Poker Face' is a song by American singer Lady Gaga from her debut studio album, The Fame (2008). It was released on September 26, 2008, as the album's second single. 'Poker Face' is a synth-pop song in the key of G ♯ minor, following in the footsteps of her previous single 'Just Dance', but with a darker musical tone. Life's a Gamble Import Pokerface (Artist) Format: Audio CD. See all 4 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions. Price New from Used from.

View credits, reviews, tracks and shop for the 1996 CD release of Life's A Gamble on Discogs. P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face (Mum mum mum mah) P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face (Mum mum mum mah) (Mum mum mum mah) (Mum mum mum mah) I won't tell you that I love you Kiss or hug you Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin I'm not lying, I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunning Just like a chick in the casino Take your bank before I pay you out.

A/N - Hello there! Normally I would take the time to answer reviews, but FF is a shitty website that refuses to show me them, so it will have to wait until next week. Just know I dedicate this character to all the people on the Shiro Gaming Omniverse discord server, To be more exact, thank you to Shiro and Rav for your crazy marketing strategy! It worked! At the cost of a channel, for a while, but I'm not complaining!

Happy reading!

I wasn't really convinced before, but now I'm sure. Dorothy is a bitch.

I heard that!

Good! you deserve that title after the shit you just pulled!

It's not my fault you humans are so fragile that you can't even handle dimensional teleportation.

You could have given me a warning! You know 'Hey, watch out, dimensional travel might upset your stomach!' or something!

But you puking on the floor was so entertaining to watch~!

Thus proving my point, bitch.

Get over it, pussy.

Sure, sure. Now, care to give me a background briefing?

Let me think about it... no.

What the hell am I supposed to do then!?

Life's A Gamble Lyrics

Go with the flow. You have your first day of class in an hour, by the way.

DOROTHY!

Sigh, alright you pathetic being, I'll have mercy on you. Your background is pretty similar to your previous one. Except you didn't get expelled for making the principal go bankrupt on poker night.

Hey! It's not my fault they invited me to a staff party! Its also not my fault if they underestimate me after I asked if they wanted to play poker. I just sowed some discord, hurt some people's pride, and made some extra cash. All of those things are acceptable things in my eyes!

One million reals is 'extra cash'?

Ok, a little more then just 'extra cash', but I didn't make them bet their whole life savings!

Sure, if you say so. So, you finished your middle school, and your sponsor, Zilean, thought you could use a better education, so he paid for your transfer into Hyakkaou Private Academy.

Let me guess, Zilean is Time?

Got it in one, also, don't speak his name out loud. Names have power.

Sure, do I have an inventory?

You do, actually. It is empty for the moment, bar for a million yen and your unlimited playing cards.

Sweet, then I won't need to work for funds. Alright, do you have a mirror?

I do, but it's for my use only.

You mean to tell me you aren't just a disembodied voice?

Really? You thought I was just some fucking random spirit that spouted nonsense in your head!?

Kinda, yeah!

You heretic! I could be considered a God! And you only see me as a tech support worker!? I should take off your uniform, and make you go naked onto your first day!

Oh, so I am wearing a uniform, good. I was worried about that for a second there!

That. Is. Not. The point. I WAS TRYING TO MAKE!

I mean, if you are a 'goddess', you are a shitty one at that. Why should I respect the Goddess of bitchiness?

I am one of the Administrators! I can turn bacteria into god-like beings with a single thought! Decimate galaxies! Alter reality on a whim! Youwill show me the respect I'm due!

Meh, don't feel like it. So, school, where is it supposed to be? Should I ask around?

I should kill you!

Darling, if you do, are you going to take responsibility for killing one of Time's sources of entertainment? L2's favorite little toy? With how much people she fucks over, she must be a sadist! Maybe she'll even take your powers off you, make you bark for her amusement because of it. Are you sure you want that?

You're wrong!

Am I though? And even if I am, are you willing to take that risk?

...Fuck.

Appropriate~ For better of for worse, you are stuck with me, dear~ Now, school?

...3 blocks away from your current position, just go in a straight line.

Glad we could come to an understanding. Mirror, please.

Go fuck yourself. Here.

Only if you watch me~ Oh yeah, you always are! Let me see how I look.

In the mirror, a young man looked back at me, he had medium length, pitch black hair. He was on the shorter side of the spectrum, about 1 meter and 59 centimiters, his face almost girly in it's composition. But two things called me attention more than any other. His deep, cynical blue eyes, that almost looked like they were glowing against the contrast of his hair, and his ever present smirk. All of that complimented by the red, expensive uniform he bore. A symbol of prestige, waiting for everything it stands for to be desecrated.

Oh hello there, new me! I think I like you! Now how about we find something fun to do? You're game? Good! Onwards, then!

The manga and anime try to do justice to the mere scale of the school, but none of them could even come close to the real deal. Hyakkaou Private Academy was massive, it could easily be compared to a billionaire's mansion, and then some! Hell, they even have a full fledged park here!

I was told by the guard at the gate that I should wait at the front door, and that someone would come get me. But that didn't stop me for having a look around. All types of sculptures were present at the front yard gardens, Corinthic columns made from the finest marble stood firm at the ground, proudly carrying their weight with smiles at their faces. And all types of precious stones adorned the textures of the colossal, majestic doors, all of them coming together to form the emblem of the prestigious school.

But all of that grandiose was instantly put to shame the moment my eyes fell upon her...

Jabami Yumeko.

A pale-skinned girl, with long black hair coming to her lower waist, styled with bangs in hime-cut, where it covers her eyebrows along with two curved streaks falling to the sides of her face. Gorgeous red eyes, peeking behind the black, long hair, making you feel as if your every secret of yours is placed in the open and every lie, no matter how small, will be noticed instantly.

She wore the standard female Hyakkaou Private Academy issued uniform; a red blazer with black trim lining the cuffs and collar, a white button-up dress shirt, a dark pleated skirt, a tie and black stockings. As well as the academy's issued footwear, brown loafers with black soles. She sports pale pink lipstick, that's making her lips like the most delicious thing ever to exist.

I feel like I'm in the presence of a Goddess herself.

But I may, or may not, have a habit of not kneeling before goddesses. Dorothy can confirm!

-1 affection with ? [ID=57 Note: Would you mind keeping heresy at a minimum? Lhu-Chan really doesn't like to deal with disrespect. Neither do I for that manner. Thank you in advance.]

Poker

...Okaaay, that was weird. Really weird. Yo, Dorothy, who was that?

You absolute buffoon! That man could kill you in more ways that your damaged little mind could think of during your entire collective existence! DO NOT. EVER. PISS OFF A XEL'NAGA!

The fuck is a Xel'Naga? You know what? I don't even want to know.

'Um... Hello?' a heavenly voice calls out to me, taking my full attention in an instance.

'Ah, Hello there! Who might you be?' I cheerfully reply in Japanese. Wait, since when do I know Japanese? Did someone put the knowledge in my head? Must have been Ti- I mean, Zilean! Dorothy would never do something nice to me willingly. I'll make sure to thank him next time I see him!

'I am Jabami Yumeko! It's a pleasure to meet you!' There it is! The real deal, ladies and gentlemen! 'Are you a transfer student as well?'

'Yes, yes I am. Odilon Richesse, or as you might say here in Japan, Richesse Odilon. The pleasure is mine!' Her eyes sparkled!

'The Richesse Odilon!? I am a huge fan!' Wha. Dorothy? What the hell did you do!?

I have no idea what you're talking about~

What the fuck, Dorothy!? I thought we finally started along!

We just came into the conclusion I shouldn't kill you, not that I couldn't make your life harder~

Fuck! I knew I should have bargained more... Dorothy, just tell me the goddamn info, or you'll regret it.

How about... no.

Poker

Your choice. I have a pen, I have an apple~

Don't you fucking dare!

UH! Apple-pen!

FINE! Just never utter that filth ever again! Even in passing! You might have... gained a following with your gambling exploits.

...How many Twitter followers do I have?

500.

Oh, I honestly expec-

Thousand.

What in the actual fuck!

Someone live streamed that little Staff Poker Night, it got a 100k views on twitch, and 50 million views on YouTube.

L2! Please fix Dorothy, she isn't making any sense. There is no way I became a goddamn internet sensation overnight, right?

Also, Not looking at the cards, going all in, walk out the room saying: 'I expect my payment at the earliest convenience, thank you,' became an internet meme, somehow. And after that, someone has been following you and recording every single gamble you make, so your popularity only grew after that.

Damn. I need to say something, don't I?

'Um, yes, I am. Though I am surprised news of me has reached Japan...' I say offhandedly, using all 19 of my charisma to pull off a natural, half embarrassed execution of my 'line'. Putting an arm behind my back.

'I don't think anyone in the gambling community doesn't know who you are.' She says, a touch of sympathy in her voice.

'Oh well, not much I can do about that... I hope that won't interfere in classes...' I sell the 'Unwilling celebrity, embarrassed people know my name'act again. It was super effective!

'Oh, you don't have to worry! At the very least you have my full impartiality!' I give her a genuine smile.

'Thank you, I really appreciate it!' She gives me a smile back. Nice~! I can die a happy man now. I made my waifu smile.

'Are you the new students?' another voice asks. Looks like our chaperone is finally here.

'Yes we are.' Jabami answers for the both of us.

'Good, I am your homeroom teacher, pleasure to meet both of you. Now, follow me.' He says.

The enormous doors open and I see a huge hall, the walls full of exotic paintings. All of it screams luxury, power, status...

It will be fun tearing this place to the ground~

'By the way, Richesse-san.' She calls me.

'Call me Odilon, Odilon-san if you really must. I just can't get used to honorifics...'

'Then you can call me Yumeko! It is only fair...' She seemed hesitant for a second. 'How... how did you know you had a Royal Straight Flush?' Oh, by counting the cards left, and a little bit of deck manipulation. The morons actually accepted playing with my deck, and let me deal the cards a couple times. Casuals. But I think she wants another answer from me...

And who am I to disappoint~

'I... didn't!' I put on a Cheshire grin. 'I was lucky~!'

Her smile became so wide and bright it hurt to look at. 'Ah~ So you understand, don't you?' And I might have cheated because I knew you before you knew me, but I'm not explaining that!

My own smirk matched hers 'It is more exiting when there are risks~!' Do I go for fatality? Yes or yes? 'Don't you just hate it... a game you can only win or lose...such thing can't be happening in a gamble~!'

All of her face showed pure bliss, her cheeks were red, hell, I could smell her arousal caused by my little comment! Didn't expect anything else from the Kakegurui herself!

'Ah~ Odilon-san~ I feel like we will get along just fine~'

'So do I, Yumeko. So do I~!'

Oh boy, I feel like I'll have lots of fun here!

I hate it. I absolutely hate it here, this was a mistake.

HAHAHAHAHA

Oh, go suck a bag of dicks!

Oh, this is too good! I'll show Morpheus pictures, he'll love this shit!

Classes were boring. Unbearably so.

I want to die, the teacher is teaching things even an infant with slightly higher IQ than a daft turtle could understand, I have nothing to do! Sigh, Patience it is. Or maybe I should make a new Yu-Gi-Oh deck? Ooh, I want an Aroma deck! The moment I get access to the shadow realm, adorable waifus that adds ungodly amounts of life points! Oh, the cancer, the frustration! Delicious! Yeah, I'm making a Aroma deck.

'Richesse-san.'

Um, should I get Black Rose dragon too? I don't know, feels a little bit too hard to get on the field, and while wiping the board is pretty good, I would rather have another Sweet Marjoram... hmm decisions, decisions.

'Richesse-san!'

Ooh, Monster Reborn got unbanned, right!? I'll get of of those ,please. Imagine I have Bergamot on field, they somehow manage to defeat her, and then I summon her again~. Oh, I know what my secondary deck will be! Blue eyes! Kaiba, I'm stealing your shtick.

'Richesse Odilon-san!' Oh, someone is calling me!

'Yes?' Oh, look who it is! Blonde bitch! I know she gets better on the later chapters, but seriously, vol. 1 her is so stupid it hurts!

'Nice to meet you! My name is Satomi Mary! Please treat me well!' Ah, yes. I'm calling her Maria.

'Treat me well too, Mary-san' I choose to simply reply.

'Um, do you have time...?' Oh, wait, wasn't she going to ask Yumeko?

'Why the question?'

'Would you like to gamble with me?' Yeah, this is fucked up.

'Sure, Poker?'

'Oh I am not confident I can beat you on poker, Mr Royal Straight Flush.' Of course she knows about that, must be why she went after me instead of Yumeko.

'That will haunt me for the rest of my life, won't it?'

'I'm afraid that is the case.' She says, amused with my predicament.

'Sigh. Game?'

'How about a game called 'Vote Rock Paper Scissors?'

'Oh, seems interesting. I'm game, but first... Yumeko.'

She seemed embarrassed to be singled out like that. Oh I love her acting skills, like the cherry on top of a cake! What a woman! 'Um, what is it Odilon?' No honorific now, huh?

'Do you want to go first? You don't mind, do you Mary?' If the look she gave me told me anything, is that she did mind.

'Sure' At least she knows not too be too pushy when trying to rob someone of their money.

'But... I like to see you gamble...' She said in a flustered tone. Is this how she wants to play it, then? Then this is how we'll play.

'If you say so! Let me guess, observers choose cards, then we sort. We get 3 and gamble it out? Do you use chips? Yen?'

'That's... right. Have you ever played this game before?'

'No, it is just for a game named Vote Rock Paper Scissors, there is not a huge margin of possible options, the rest were simple guesses~' I want to make a reputation as if I'm smarter than I am. I want people to overestimate me, until I can actually meet those standards. On what basis? Because I really don't want to deal with dumb asses thinking the're hot shit and make me lose hours of my precious, precious, time trying to steal a couple bucks off me. I might cheat for a living, but I'm waiting until I level up my luck before doing anything risky. 1 luck is no joke.

By the way, Dorothy, where are my Chronomancer skills?

I was hoping you'd forget about that.

Not a chance in hell, darling. Pass 'em over.

Fine.

[Speed up time]

Affects an object or an area, changing it's 4th dimension attributes to faster than it was previously.

Poker Face Life's A Gamble Full

Cost: 10 times potency per second.

[Slow down time]

Affects an object or an area, changing it's 4th dimension attributes to slower than it was previously.

Poker Face Life's A Gamble Movie

Cost: 10 times potency per second.

Potencies?

Figure it out yourself.

Fine. Be a bitch about it, as usual.

'...we use chips.' She said, with an impressed tone.

'Lovely! Fantastic! Now...' I wan't to make this dramatic! This game will be told as the game that started it all, I want to make it memorable! Ideas? Where are you!? I'm in a precarious situation here?

Poker Face Life's A Gamble For A

'Tell me...' Think, thin- Oh! 'Who really wins in a bet, the one that gambles, or the one who keeps the roulette table?'

'The house always wins.' she answers with a smirk. Cheeky girl.

My poker face instantly forms, my ever present smirk there, and my eyes glowed an icily blue hue. (Side effect of mana, and being in a show where characters change eye color based on emotion. I'm not complaining!)

Poker Face Life's A Gamble Game

'We'll see if that's true, won't we?'

Poker

And the game began.

Life's A Gamble Tattoo

A/N- And that is it! A good amount of Bullying Dorothy, meeting new people, and setting up my character! I hope you enjoyed! I want to focus on WiR? next, but I'll see what I'll do when I get to it. Just expect an update sometime in the next 5 days in either this or the other fic!

Reviews are always appreciated! I'll address those when FF decides to get its shit together.

Blessed Mother, Deliver us onto hope. Praise be her and her eternal love.